Lost
It’s been quite a long time since I last posted something about my faith in here…
These days, I have actually become lost. I became the missing son. After the three weeks mission on my holiday back home, a temptation came to me I knew it was the voice of the devil. It convinced me that I will face loneliness, and he offered me a way to face the loneliness. A way that I should never take, a way that not only should I knew it was wrong, but the fact was that, at that moment, I already knew it was wrong.
God gave me clear warnings against it. First through my mind, then through the Scripture, twice. When I would not listen and continued to stray in the path of darkness, He warned me again, this time through sermons, twice. Yet I still would not listen. Finally I closed my conscience and went towards the dark path. But just as I opened the door to the darkness, God prevented me and blocked all paths towards the place where I cannot return from.
Was I happy that God prevented me from sinning? No. Instead I ran away from Him. I ran away from His house and I ran away from His presence, seeking my own desires and fulfillment away from Him. Then my life went down with it, and without God, everything seems to drag me down towards despair.
Still, God was faithful, and He called me back. My birthday. I am 23 years old now. I was involved in a play for the youth about the Prodigal Son. Then I realized that I am the Prodigal Son. I have to come back home. My Father is waiting for me, and He is willing to forgive me. So I came back, and there He was, waiting for me with open arms, waiting for me to return, and He embraced me with His light.
I am back home. But it is difficult to mend a broken relationship. I was so close to Him but now I have to reach out again for Him and gain that closeness and intimacy I had with Him before. I have learned my lesson. Never again shall I stray from the path of the Lord. I shall dwell by His house forever.
God, help me to be close again to you. To feel Your presence. To feel You here with me.
