The Forerunner Times

"A life journal by Nathan J. Elias, called under God's grace to be His forerunner and restorer for His glory."

“The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air.”
— Galadriel, Lord of the Rings –

Yes, the world is changing. I dunno why I am writing so much lately. I have a lot to think and say. I only wrote 6 posts in Augusts, yet this is already my 5th post in September. Maybe because I do not have too much to do lately, and this week is my study week where I’m supposed to study, but I can’t, due to lazyness, sickness and so on…

Anyway, just went into some thinking about the future after I see my favourite stall in the nearby hawker centre closed shop. They have been closed since last week and I thought the owner might have gone on a holiday. Turns out that they have moved away, today when I went there the banner sign of the stall is being replaced by a new one. I didn’t realize they were going to move. I didn’t feel anything when they started giving extra portions and they do not replace their diminishing plastic fork and spoons (at one point they run out of both so I had to eat rice with bowl spoon). But it happened so fast and in a flash they’re gone. There goes my favourite eating place, the best chicken rice, fried fish rice and all kinds of ramen. Had to go look for another good stall to eat…

In a flash, people can go away. Where will I be six months from now?

Yes, six months. I was expecting eight, actually, as I strongly believed that I would fail that Entrepreneurship class, leaving me to retake it, which translates to an additional two months here. But today, Angel told me that the results for this class is out, and when I checked, I got a Pass mark. Happy and thanks God, because I passed, but at the same time sad, because now I know my days here are numbered, and it’s counting down quickly. Maybe later I can find a job in Singapore, but it’s up to God to decide that and grant me one if He’s willing for me to have a longer stay.

Back then I missed my friends in Indonesia, I felt lonely and I want these days to pass away quickly, but now… It’s amazing how a man’s heart can change so quickly once he’s found a new home, a new place, with friends to be with and to share with. When I went home in July, my parents asked me if I want to stay here another year for work. And I said no. Why would I want to remain here longer if my days here have been suffering? Study, study, study all the time, wishing it all would quickly pass. Even though I will have a good salary, with no friends and family to share it with, what is the use of it? I’m not the kind of person who likes to use up a lot of money for myself, in fact I save a lot and use it mainly with friends and family. But now that I have found my place and my friends, I feel that I want to stay here a bit longer.

Six months from now, when all of this ends, where will I be?

Sometimes people just need a place to belong…